


Hypnotic

by lojo



Series: WIP Folder Cleanout [5]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Gen, Ichigo is a prisoner, M/M, POV First Person, Pre-Relationship, gentle mindbreak, this fic is extremely self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 00:25:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18354803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lojo/pseuds/lojo
Summary: Ichigo has been in Heuco Mundo so long he can't remember ever being somewhere else. He doesn't know if he can leave, or if he even wants to.





	Hypnotic

**Author's Note:**

> started this in 2015 according to the date on my notes app idk why I never posted it

The moon in the sky never changes like it should. I remember the moon used to change with the passage of time, it would grow wider to a full circle or shrink to a sliver of silver. I wonder if I only imagined this. The window I gaze at the night sky through is high up. The tips of my fingers fall far too short when I reach up to it.  
I used to try and climb out but I could never reach no matter how hard I tried. Now I just stand and stare. I don't remember what compelled me to try and escape this place so now I stay. I don't know what else to do. What else can I do. 

-

I've lost myself. I wonder if I was ever found to begin with. 

My hollow side has long since grown quiet. He used to speak up to tell me that I should be ashamed of myself for being pathetic. Sometimes I forget he’s there and the sound of his voice shocks me. 

-

Time moves slowly here. Sometimes I wonder if it moves at all. 

I asked for a clock once, and the slow tick-tick-ticking drove me mad. It smashed easily beneath my angry hands and splinters stuck deep in my skin. The red hurt my eyes, my blood so vibrant against the stark white of my surroundings. 

-

My heart beats, and I can hear my own footsteps as I walk back and forth in my room. It’s proof I am alive and it’s how I mark time passing now. Sometimes I sleep. I never know how long for and I wake up feeling as empty as before. At first I tried to talk to the ones who leave me food and new clothes but they never speak. Their faces have blended together and they look indistinguishable to me now. It's as though they don't exist. 

I used to scream just to hear something. I tried yelling, I tried laughing. Nothing changed, so I went silent. 

 

-

I try to remember my family and friends. Their names went first, then the image of their faces faded. Maybe I would know them if I saw them but I don’t know if I recognise myself in the mirror let alone someone else. 

I think about my friends, people I once knew. I think I can hear their voices sometimes. My hollow informs me that I've lost my mind. 

-

It’s as if the moon is hypnotic, I’ve watched it for so long it has scratched away at my memories. I’m left with very little but what I can see now. The moon. The whiteness of the room, the blackness of the sky. Sometimes a visitor who stops and stays, speaks to me. 

Him. Aizen. The one I used to hate so much but I can’t remember why. 

The idea of leaving comes up when he asks me if I want to go with him. Aizen says I can be useful to him and I shake my head. I can’t leave here. 

-

These white walls are comforting. I used to hate them, they were too plain. Now they're all I know.  
The numbingly plain walls are occasionally broken up by pillars, furniture, the window. And doors. 

There is a door that leads outside. I know it goes outside and not to another of my rooms because that's where Aizen enters from. I don't know how long I’ve been here but Aizen visits me I don't feel alone. 

-

I tried leaving once after Aizen visited me. I gripped the handle of the door that leads outside. It turned, it was unlocked. I stepped away and chose to stay inside. I felt crippled by my own fear of being as alone outside as I am here. I don't know when I stopped being his prisoner and started being kept here by myself.

I mull this thought over in my mind. Am I a prisoner? Is that why I’m here, watching the unchanging night sky, because I am Aizen’s prisoner? I can’t recall. 

When he comes to see me he says I can leave whenever I want, but where would I go. I don't know anymore. I used to burn with rage when I saw him, that fire burnt out long ago. Maybe it’s more accurate to say it changed. Now my heart flutters with something I don't want to identify. I wonder if he can hear it like I can.

I'm not sure if the door was ever locked in the first place and I stayed for a different reason. 

-

I’m lost in thought, staring at the unchanging moon through my high window. I startle when I realise I am not alone. Aizen is standing next to me, and is looking at me. He may have said something but I didn't hear. My senses have dulled. I can't find it in myself to be embarrassed by my weakness. 

"Ichigo". His voice is loud, louder even than my own thoughts. It cuts through the fog that seems to surround me, the stupor the moon leaves me in. 

My breath hitches when I look in to his sharp eyes. 

"Do you want to leave?" He asks me. The man asks me this every time he visits and I've always just stared through him until he leaves. 

"Yes," I blurt out. My voice cracks and I clear my throat. I think he looks surprised, his eyebrows raise slightly. I've never answered him before. “Take me with you.” Please don't leave me anymore let me go with you I want to be where you are don't leave me again- I babble to myself. I wonder if I say it out loud and I find I don’t care. 

"I've been waiting to hear you say that. Come with me.” He holds out a hand and I take it, it takes everything in me not to shudder at the warmth of the contact. 

My lip trembles when I smile at him. I'm scared of leaving but I can't bear to be alone any more. His grip is strong and it’s real.  
"Okay. Let’s go."


End file.
